Mum's Feelings

Myth: Mum’s emotions don’t affect her unborn baby.

Fact: Mothers’ emotions do impact their babies in pregnancy.

Inside your womb, your baby receives a constant transmission of your mood. What you feel is reflected in your body’s chemistry and nervous system, and in the limbic (emotional) region of his or her brain. Being exposed to your emotions as they rise and fall is part of your baby’s development: it not only supports your baby's growth, it also prepares your baby for life beyond the womb. Your baby is constantly adapting and preparing in pregnancy so that he or she will be well equipped to cope with the lifestyle and challenges you experience. Your baby learns through you and gets ready. And what matters is consistency - that mum's state of mind before and after birth is similar. It becomes more difficult for a baby when a mum shifts from happy to depressed, or even the other way around, from being prenatally depressed to being happy after birth. The key here is to focus on your state of mind, your happiness, and any issues you'd like to resolve, while you are pregnant. The ideal is for your baby to be brought up (including through pregnancy) in a loving, welcoming and healthy environment.

If your baby feels good in pregnancy, exposure to oxytocin and other 'feel good hormones' supports optimal cell development and healthy organ function. It's beneficial for healthy brain and body growth. Exposure to stress or high levels of fear, on the other hand, involve high levels of cortisol, adrenalin and other stress hormones and may negatively affect development, with affects that can range from slow growth to compromised development of hte digetstive and immune system, and a tendency to distress and anxiety after birth (and through life).

If things get tough for you, there are ways to limit your baby’s exposure to hormones that flow when you are stressed or afraid. A vital first step is to take action to meet your needs, whether you need comfort, information, exercise, nourishing food, a chance to talk to someone, or medical support, to mention just a few possible needs. When you take effective action, your body chemistry and nerve activity will alter. Every time you replace stress with relaxation, fear with love, tension with comfort … you improve your baby’s environment.

Some practical suggesions:

• Stay in communication with your baby: name your feelings and acknowledge that she may have a reaction to what you’re feeling.
• If you feel angry, sad, anxious or stressed, let your baby know that she isn’t the cause of these feelings, and you are seeking a way to feel calmer or resolve an issue (there's an example below**)
• Do what you can to lift your moods: happiness, excitement, feelings of peace and high levels of feel-good hormones are really good for your baby’s development

**You could talk to your baby to distinguish between what you feel, and what your baby may feel. This may be a new concept to you; but when you speak honestly and from the heart, there will be chemical changes in your body that can directly affect your baby's environment. You may notice it changes your mood too, reducing your anxiety, As an example, you could say, ‘I’m feeling really sad/angry/upset at the moment. These are my feelings and are not because of you. I am going to go and see my friend/do x to try and solve this issue … and I will be ok.’

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