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'I feel therefore I am' Your baby feels strong emotions. In fact, he feels emotions even before birth. Scientists have revealed this through studying the brain, and also through in-depth study of hormones and other chemicals that are linked with emotional feelings. And what your baby experiences, emotionally, affects the wiring of his brain, the development of his body cells, his sense of self and, even in adulthood, the way he views the world. The 7 emotional drives Your baby is driven by his limbic brain, which is separate from the intellectual brain and is the seat of emotions. The limbic brain is functioning, sensitive and taking part in every brain process even before birth, and it ensures your baby has seven basic drives. These drives are common to all humans. You have them, your baby has them, your mother has them. We all do. They are present before birth. They drive us every second of our lives. Separation anxiety Each one of these drives plays an important role - to urge your baby to form relationships and keep close to his parents or carers. To feel is to be alive Feeling emotions is a sense as important to us as vision, hearing or touch. Each emotion tells us how we need to act so that we will survive and thrive. For your baby, whose brain and body are immature, the emotions are strong and send powerful messages, but he is limited in his capacity to meet his own needs. He needs you to meet his needs. He needs you, or another primary carer, with him, so he can learn how to deal with his strong feelings. Neuroscience has shown that the key to safety, as well as to growth, is to be in relationship. It is of vital importance to feel loved, listened to and understood. For brain regulation and growth, and for the development of a sense of self, your baby needs to feel felt: there is a measurable impact on the limbic brain in relationship. Your baby needs to know that his feelings are acknowledged and accepted. He needs to feel loved: for who he is, rather than for what he does. Let's stay together Your baby expresses each of his basic drives spontaneously. Not all mothers (or fathers) experience the drive to bond, or they may feel it weakly or intermittently. There are many factors that come into play, ranging from a parent's own early life bonding experiences to current health issues or difficulties in adult relationships. We explore bonding in depth on a babiesknow weekend course and discuss the many ways that secure bonding can be encouraged. Separation distress When your baby feels alone for too long , he goes into a state of separation distress - one of the emotional urges. This important emotion drives him to cry so that he can be connected once again. No wonder - science has shown that your baby needs you for survival, and the sensation of distress at being separated , and the behaviour this triggers, helps to ensure he gets what he needs. Babies who are in a prolonged state of separation distress show a wide range of negative effects. A baby has extreme difficulty in dealing with such an intense and extended forceful emotion. The brain, in an attempt to cope and maintain equilibrium, triggers changes throughout body and brain that lead to a kind of 'shut-down'. The measurable effects include disruption of temperature regulation, an increase in pain sensations, levels of stress hormones rising by up to 10 times their normal levels, compromising of the immune system and disruption of normal sleep. This is also known as 'protest-despair' - the response that's very common when a baby is left to cry and eventually becomes too exhausted to continue crying, or simply gives up. The impact of prolonged or repeated separation despair on the brain includes patterning of neural networks that relate to the experience of separation. Whatever pattern is reinforced is likely to persist and will determine future behaviour. Having experienced extreme or repeated stress, neural networksin the limbic brain, including the amygdala (the seat of fear), function in a way that inclines a baby to reach a state of high anxiety more rapidly than normal. There is also a reduced ability to trust and to feel safe. High levels of exposure to stress hormones including cortisol and adrenalin actually predispose body cells (including cells in the brain, the gut, the muscles and so on) to react quickly to stress in the future. In adulthood, the patterns of neural networking, and the sensitivity of body cells, persist. The grown-up baby may still be more anxious than usual. Living with the big feelings On a babiesknow weekend we look at each drive. We discuss simple, practical ways to reduce separation distress, even if your baby is unwell and needs special care. We explore ways to make good use of the urge to bond, to play, and to care. We also take you on a journey into your past , to discover how some of these drives may have been active in your babyhood - and how they affect you now. Making repair Although patterns from infancy do tend to persist, the brain is also 'plastic'. It can always change. The change may be triggered by feelings or consciously driven thought processes. Most powerfully, change tends to come about in relationships. This is because between two people, there is always limbic resonance. In addition, each person's limbic brain influences the other - this is called 'limbic regulation'. And then, as the relationship deepens, changes occur in the neural activity and networking of the limbic brain, in response to the emotions that arise in the relationship. This is called 'limbic revision.' If your early emotional experinces were traumatic, it is never too late to make repair. And you may find that your baby is one of your greatest teachers! If your baby has had traumatic early experiences, it is similarly possible to make repair, often simply with loving honesty, a willingness on your part to acknowledge your baby's feelings, and to listen. The power of limbic resonance and revision can be astounding. Early stress for a baby could involving complications with the pregnancy that may have reduced placenta efficiency, or supply of oxygen; or if your baby needed special care or surgical procedures after birth; if birth itself was traumatic (which it may have been for your baby even if it seemed straightforward to you!); or perhaps a loved one is absent ... there are many possible reasons. Listening in Babiesknow invites and guides you to re-build the skill of listening to and following your emotions. You may be surprised that this makes life’s challenges – including the challenge of family life – easier to meet. Even more importantly, it will help you offer your baby what she needs to trust and regulate her own emotions and to flourish. Science has shown that, for a firm sense of self, for confidence, and for the ability to be in healthy relationships and to cope with the natural spectrum of emotions, in infancy we need to be 'limbically known.' Tuning into your baby now, while simultaneously feeling balanced in yourself, is the greatest gift you can give him. ‘A child is born with the hardware for [emotional] sensing, Only through limbic resonance with another can he begin
All contents copyright © Babiesknow, 2008. All rights reserved. |
"The quality of childcare has lifelong consequences for mental health. Children whose emotional feelings are cherished and respected, even their angry outbursts, shall live more happily than those whose early passions are denied. Both excessive distress and tender loving care leave lasting marks on the emotional circuits, and mentalities, of developing brains." Professor Jaak Panskepp; head of Affective Neuroscience Research, Chicago, who has been studying the emotional brain for over 30 years.
"What we perceive as an emotion is also a mechanism for activating a particular neuronal circuit - simultaneously through brain and body - which generates behaviour involving the whole self, with all the necessary physiological changes that behaviour would require. Emotion is part of the constellation of bodily changes that occurs with each shift of subjective feeling." |
